How to please isfj

How to please isfj

Do you have a friend that always lends a listening ear no matter what? He or she is there to help when you need it, and asks for nothing in return? Perhaps your friend is on the quiet side and enjoys taking care of others while staying away from the limelight themselves. These are all characteristics of the ISFJ. This gives them the kind of steady, warm, practicality that is comforting and reassuring to others.

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. But certain annoyances are amplified according to your type. ISFJs are extremely aware of the emotions and moods of others. They take in all the details around them and can quickly sense if someone is feeling uncomfortable, awkward, or left out.

People who go through life blissfully unaware of these things tend to frustrate the ISFJ. ISFJs thrive on routine and knowing what to expect at any given time. They are excellent planners who enjoy knowing how their week is going to unfold, what meals they are going to make, what outings they are going to schedule.


A sure way to stress out an ISFJ is to make a sudden change to their plans or spontaneously interrupt them with a new direction or agenda. Want to greet an ISFJ you hardly know with a great big bear hug?

Think again! While ISFJs may love to snuggle with their kids or spouse, they usually prefer personal space around acquaintances or strangers. Get to know them pretty well before you start getting too physically affectionate. When people are running late or dilly-dallying it causes them an undue amount of stress. ISFJs are usually very careful and precise when it comes to their writing skills, and they find the kind of commonly accepted misspellings used in texting and social media extremely irritating.

You can also connect with me via FacebookInstagramor Twitter! Want to discover more about personality type? Get the inside scoop with Susan Storm on all things typological, along with special subscriber freebies, and discounts on new eBooks and courses! Join our newsletter today! Eh, kind of true, I related to this posting as an ISFJ myself but lateness only bothers me personally if you are over 15 minutes late and the subject in question is really important.

I also despise fringe conspiracy theories with little concrete evidence supporting them, you may as well just leave or shut up.

Otherwise pretty much everything else is true. This post is spot on! Anonymous: Your correction has at least three errors. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. By Susan Storm. Touchy-Feely Strangers Well…. Bad Grammar and Poor Spelling ISFJs are usually very careful and precise when it comes to their writing skills, and they find the kind of commonly accepted misspellings used in texting and social media extremely irritating.

What Do You Think?

how to please isfj

Did we cover one of your top pet peeves? Do you agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments! Subscribe to Our Newsletter Want to discover more about personality type?Consider the ISFJ personality type as an example. In general, ISFJs are hardworking, cautious, and loyal protectors. They take their responsibilities seriously and they keep their commitments. A job well-done is important to them, and they pay attention to details, making sure all the bases are covered.

They care for their loved ones deeply and work hard to make sure their needs are met, while striving for harmony in their relationships. All are wonderful qualities. Yet, when out of balance, these qualities create the perfect storm for burnout. An ISFJ can work too hard and worry too much, feeling the weight of the world resting firmly on her shoulders.

She might even suppress her own thoughts and feelings to please others. As a strong ISFJ personality type, I know how exhausted that can leave you and how it can stop you from enjoying the present, which is often oh-so-hard for an ISFJ to do.

As a cautionary note, the ISFJ is among the types most likely to experience heart disease and is more likely than average to experience chronic pain. Regardless which personality type you are, balance is best. Stephen Covey discusses the need for balance in our lives. And I do mean practice.

how to please isfj

I promise, it was given to me in the most loving way possible. I often feel personally responsible for things that go wrong, whether I truly am or not.

Learning how to manage anxious thoughts is important. Like everyone else in the world, making mistakes is inevitable. Learning to set boundaries and to speak up is good for your health. The book Boundariesco-authored by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, is a great resource for learning to set boundaries in your life and relationships. Taking time to take care of yourself makes you more productive and better able to care for those you love in the long run.

Life is too short not to enjoy it a little! Stefanie Williams is a freelance copywriter and decluttering expert. As a wife and mom to five boys and one rowdy princess, maximizing productivity is always on her mind.

You can connect with Stefanie at her blog, Streamlined Freelancerwhere she explores ways to streamline life and business. Great post! My mantra has always be "work first, then play. Thank you; I appreciate your comment! Hopefully you are finding time to play more! I'm working on it Obviously to help the lower number of ISFJ men out there. For example how do deal with the strong similarities and differences of the two types, in general. All comments are moderated.

Please be courteous. Spammers will be fried and served on toast. Skip to main content.ISFJs are industrious caretakers, loyal to traditions and organizations. They are practical, compassionate, and caring, and are motivated to provide for others and protect them from the perils of life.

ISFJs are conventional and grounded, and enjoy contributing to established structures of society. They are steady and committed workers with a deep sense of responsibility to others. They focus on fulfilling their duties, particularly when they are taking care of the needs of other people. They want others to know that they are reliable and can be trusted to do what is expected of them.

They are conscientious and methodical, and persist until the job is done. It stands for Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. ISFJ indicates a person who is energized by time spent alone Introvertedwho focuses on facts and details rather than ideas and concepts Sensingwho makes decisions based on feelings and values Feeling and who prefers to be planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexible Judging.

ISFJs are sometimes referred to as Protector personalities because of their interest in keeping people safe and well cared for. ISFJ is the most common type in the U. ISFJs make up:. ISFJs are driven by their personal values, and are conscientious in their behavior. They typically want to work hard, get along with others, and make sure they do what is expected of them.

ISFJs value relationships highly and strive to cooperate and maintain harmony with others. They want stability and longevity in their relationships, and tend to maintain a deep devotion to family.

They feel most connected with people they know they can rely upon over the long term. ISFJs appreciate tradition and like knowing how things were done in the past. They are loyal to established methods and values, and want to observe the proper, accepted way of doing things. They place great importance on fitting in with established institutions and contributing what they can to maintain strong, stable social structures. In groups, they often take on the role of historian, ensuring that new members respect and value the established customs.

ISFJs are characteristically humble and unassuming, and rarely call attention to themselves. They can often be found offering assistance to others in a modest, understated way.

They are loyal and hardworking, and often commit themselves to tasks and projects with the aim of being helpful to their families, friends, and communities.Let's dig into how to make this work for you in love, career and life.

ISFJs end up becoming experts on the people in their lives. Of all the types, ISFJ is the most willing to sacrifice itself for the good of their loved ones. Many other types are willing to help out in substantial ways, but it is in this type that we see utter dedication. At their best they set the scene for good memories. They cook the turkey on Thanksgiving, they provide the best service to customers, they are the most devoted caregivers, etc.

People of this type are typically very hard on themselves and, if unchecked, depression can become an issue. They tend to have extraordinary patience, and are willing to forgive just about anything except forgotten birthdays and anniversaries ….

Do you put yourself under pressure to create perfect memories for others? ISFJs thrive on memories and traditions and are keen to pass on their own pleasant experiences to others, particularly family and close friends. However, this can lead to an ISFJ putting themselves under a lot of pressure to create perfect situations instead of going with the flow.

Sometimes though, they can feel a little overwhelmed by social occasions and want to retreat back into their safe place. So much so, that they can often neglect their own needs and become a little resentful if they feel other people are taking them for granted. This is especially true if they have a preconceived negative view of what may happen. They will forever attach bad memories to the event.

While this is great when surrounded by happy, positive people, they can often feel obligated to help others fix problems in their lives and end up taking on a share of their stress and anxiety.

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In their bid to caring for and trying to please others, they can become prone to overcommitting themselves. This leads to an increase in their stress levels. The first step to hacking your personality to achieve massive growth and success in all areas of your life is understanding it.

You may already be familiar with the four letters above. Most personality tests, articles, and websites spend a lot of time focused on the behaviors ISFJs show the world. The four letter code ISFJ gives us a key into the cognitive functions your mind uses to learn information and make decisions.

In the front seat you have the Driver. This is the most developed function of your personality. You spend most of your time here naturally because it puts you into flow. Next, there's the Co-Pilot. This is your second strongest function which supports your Driver and is very important for you to develop to achieve growth. Behind this, there's the 10 Year Old.

This function shows up with the maturity of a 10 Year old.For the ISFJ there are different ways in which they process these emotions, as well as respond to them. Each person has their own unique processes when it comes to feelings, both their own and the feelings of others.

7 Weaknesses of the ISFJ Personality Type

It is important to not only consider the personality types but also the individual and what makes them unique and different. ISFJs are actually rather empathetic people who care deeply for the emotions of others. Since they care so much for making others happy, emotions become truly important for the ISFJ.

They value emotions and feel it is important to always take them into consideration before moving forward with things. They want to be sure that their actions do not hurt someone they care for, as ISFJs are very conscious of this. Their strong sense of empathy makes it so the ISFJ naturally wants to avoid hurting people or upsetting them in any way.

30 Common Struggles of ISFJs

Instead they strive to make others happy, and work hard to ensure they are pleasing the people they care for most. Since their auxiliary function is actually their Fe extraverted feeling focusing on the emotions of others is important and comes naturally. Instead of neglecting these feelings for their own, the ISFJ often does the opposite of this.

They usually push aside their own inner emotions in hopes of tending to the needs of those around them. ISFJs are much more interested in pleasing others and creating a sense of harmony in their environment. This sense of harmony is deeply important for the ISFJ, and so they work hard to maintain this. For the ISFJ ensuring that their environment is running smoothly and everyone around them is cared for, is really something they value above most else.

how to please isfj

And so emotions definitely come into play here, the ISFJ needing to focus on the care and feelings of others to create this sense of peace around them. This does cause them to neglect focusing on their own needs oftentimes, not wanting those inner feelings to cause some sort of disruption. ISFJs do care about the emotions of others, but they are also very practical people.

Sometimes they prefer to find these more practical ways of solving issues, rather than using emotions to do so. ISFJs can sometimes show affection this way as well, not always being as outwardly emotional as people might expect.

When the ISFJ cares for someone they often show this by going out of their way to please them, and provide them with what they need. This can appear a bit more practical and logical than people expect, especially since ISFJs are so in tune with the emotions of others.

Ultimately negative emotions are things they want to solve or fix in hopes of making this person happy once again. This can make it challenging for the ISFJ when someone is upset, because it does disrupt the harmony and often feels like they have failed in some way.

ISFJs feel successful when their loved ones are happy and comfortable and not constantly appearing to be stressed or hurting. They can sense this upset and want to seek out whatever means necessary in order to make things better and make those around them happy.The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty. The heart and mind of the ISFJ is a warm and perceptive place.

These kind, down-to-earth individuals have a keen awareness of the details around them. They combine this sensing ability with Extraverted Feeling Fe to instantly notice the emotions, motives, and moods of others. They combine a practical, friendly demeanor with intense loyalty and selfless devotion to their loved ones. They believe in making a difference in the world in consistent, practical ways and are often very humble for the amount of good they do.

While they may seem gentle and unassuming on the outside, deep inside they are fiercely protective and will go to great lengths to guard their loved ones from harm.

ISFJs can often be found in hospitals, classrooms, or in other service professions taking care of detail-oriented work that allows them to serve humanity. Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here.

They combine Fe with Introverted Sensing Si to notice all the details of the people they care about. If you are in emotional distress and you are in the presence of an ISFJ they may be the first person to pull you aside, give you a shoulder to cry on, and provide hands-on help and assistance.

ISFJs believe in providing service to people who need it, not just listening and talking about problems. They tend to be naturally skilled at finding practical, tangible solutions and gifts that will help the people they care about in a real way.

They focus on social and ethical responsibility and can instantly adjust to social feedback. When ISFJs and all Fe dominant or auxiliary users experience negative input from the outside world such as an eye roll or a frown they feel intense embarrassment, guilt, or shame. This is why ISFJs place such importance on manners and presenting themselves well.

They are usually excellent hosts or hostesses and they enjoy helping out in various community or religious events depending on their beliefs. This allows them to navigate social settings with a certain grace and awareness of the feelings and needs of others. Their perceptiveness and listening skills allow them to make people feel at ease and comfortable in their presence.

ISFJs are excellent at surveying the feelings and moods of others. Their intense awareness to detail allows them to notice changes in expression or body language. For this reason, ISFJs and other Fe users may be the quickest types to notice if someone suddenly feels uncomfortable, sad, or offended by something. They can also easily recall the intention of certain expressions and types of body language.Andrea loves to write about the zodiac and research astrological love compatibility.

She's been an online writer for over five years. It stands for introversion Isensing Sfeeling Fand judgment J. This type is influenced by introverted sensing and guided by extroverted feeling. People with this personality type either like you or couldn't care less about you. When they do like you, however, they'll move mountains to make you happy. For the most part, expect warmth, diligence, and lots of baked goods from someone with the ISFJ personality.

Getting mislabeled as an ISTJ and having people think you're nitpicky about matters you don't care for in the slightest. Feeling insecure and assuming the people around you are smarter, better, or more equipped than you. Not caring about winning at board games. You just want to have fun, but everyone else is so serious. Coming across as rigid, inflexible, or even cold and uncaring to others, all without being aware of it.

Feeling threatened if your external world is attacked or changed, which can cause you to shut down. Focusing so much on the people you love that you overlook your own needs. This can lead to sudden flares of emotion or extra-long naps. Experiencing difficulty leaving a bad relationship because you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.

Having a hard time moving on from a bad relationship because of lingering thoughts on what could have been different. Needing to express your feelings daily rather than allowing them to build up. Holding it in would make you explode and end up saying things you didn't mean. Being introverted, but not as introverted as other personality types. You're like the INFJ in that they're more social introverts, which can get confusing. Craving stability so much it can be a crutch.

Sometimes you could grow more by pushing yourself, but you tend to avoid it because it makes you feel anxious. Holding a grudge easily, particularly if it's against someone who's taken advantage of you before. Struggling to release sadness and finding it easier to do this alone. This can be confusing for your partners to know your real emotional state.

Refusing to talk about some of your favorite interests because you're unsure if you'll fit in with other people. You may be quiet about sharing your favorite authors, movies, and toys because you prefer hearing what makes other people happy.

Strengths & Weaknesses

Continuing to do the same thing over and over again, only to fail because you can't see the bigger picture of what you're doing wrong. Spending extra hours cleaning up after others and being hesitant to bring it up because it may hurt other people's feelings. Introverts tend to know how their body feels, which makes them excel at meditation, cooking, physical work, dancing, and athletics.

This sense helps them determine what energy they need and what sucks their soul. Because of this, they can get addicted to coffee, alcohol, or even physical activity.

how to please isfj

The ISFJ is prone to putting themselves down because they have a feeling-oriented personality that is among the most warm-hearted personalities in the Myers—Briggs world. The ISFJ enjoys showing hospitality and may do so by sprucing up a place with flowers, scented soap, classical music, or comfy furniture.

They will want to cook for you, have your bed ready, and provide extra shampoo if you stay over at their home.


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